Unseen Diary of the Fellowship's Forgotten Member
by Mariana1
Summary: Ok, this is my tribute to the very secret diaries (all hail CC) so there is no plagiarism intended. The adventures of the fellowship from an ousiders POV... (also, this includes the explanations for just WHY Aragorn's hair is greasy and he never shaves!)
1. Day 1 A Trip to Hobbiton

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AN: Ok, I uploaded this and then took a moment and realised there was no disclaimer **faints in horror** so I thought I'd better clarify the point that I do NOT own the characters I never have don e and **sigh** never will (though I am planning to try) the only one I own is the narrator, my own chara Laralorn…

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The Unseen Diary of the Fellowship's Forgotten Member

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By Laralorn,

Daughter of Arathorn,

Sister of Aragorn, 

Heir of Isildur.

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Day 1: Hey, went to the Shire today with Gandalf saw a little hobbit going by the name of Frodo Baggins. Gandalf ruined the 'silent and dangerous Ranger' look by making me laugh. He kept going Morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdorrrrrrrrrr… and spat ALL over the place. Silly hobbit fancier must remember not to roll his 'R's too much. After that my skulking surly look, which **_I_** taught Aragorn didn't work. No use trying to stay in the shadows and act menacingly-good when you can't stop your hysterical giggling! 

It wasn't just Gandalf though, Frodo was sitting there, eyes wide open as though he'd been slapped in the face. Just too funny for words. Must remember to retell this to Halbarad and Elrohir. Arwen might like it too… we always laughed at stuff like that in Lothlorien. Galadriel had to split us up for it at one time. 

NOTE TO SELF: - kidnap Aragorn's shaving foam… AND his shampoo!


	2. Day 2 A letter from Gandalf

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AN: OK, thank you sooooo much for the reviews, and I am gonna update as often as possible, which shoulf be ok because I have it all written up to the end of the Two Towers, Naturally coz they go with the films and RotK hasn't come out yet. R&R…pleeez!

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Day 2: Running around, really quite boring… trying to find my brother and give him Gandalf's message. Have to remember to do that. No telling what Gandy could do if I forget, I'd rather like to keep all my appendages (long word!) and limbs the RIGHT way round. The message is this:

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Dear Aragorn, 

Very urgent message (when is it ever not urgent with him?) _on the matter of the U NO WHAT!!!! Win wink nudge nudge _(And he calls ME immature… huh?!)_ Two hobbits are going to be journeying through Bree carrying IT!!!! Soon. If I cannot get there please pick them up at the prancing Pony _(DAMN Gandalf, u never remember… my brother takes everything LITERALLY! He's gonna be either trying to pick them up in the real sense or flirting like mad with them, am I the only one with an ounce of sense round here?)_ Lead them to Rivendell. _


	3. DAy 3 Hobbits, beer and Nytol

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AN: Thank you SOOOOOO much for reviewing. I didn't put this up yesterday because it was easter (DUH!) and easter is a time for celebration and chocolate (WOOHOO!) so now here's day three… R&R R&R R&R R&R

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Day 3: Found Aragorn and delivered message, was at the inn with him by nightfall. Sat in corner doing our 'mysterious and intriguing strangers' bit. I was very good. 

Stupid Hobbit put the One Ring on… idiotic hobbit, Other hobbit's seemed interested to find out that beer comes in pints. Not surprised seeing as they're only half-pints themselves. Aragorn didn't laugh when I told him about Morrrrdorrrr and Frrrroooodoooooo, he has NO sense of humour. I don't suppose it's a requisite in heirs, they just have to be able to tell one end of a sword from another and look good in a crown. Ha! I'd be 10 times better than he would. IF, that is, I wanted to be Queen… Galadriel always said that I would make a great Queen. 

As I'm sitting here the hobbits are sleeping. There are 4 of them rather than 2, useless Gandalf, he never could count. Aragorn, or Strider as the folk round here call him, is sitting at the window. Must remember to get him some of Halbarad's Nytol. He's always had the WORST insomnia.

Stole Aragorn's shaving foam AND his shampoo… HA… that'll pay him back for using my best shirt to wipe orc blood off his sword AND for getting at me that time I complained about the things sleeping rough does to my hair! Let's see how HE likes greasy hair and stubble!


	4. Day 4 Concerning hobbits, nazgul and the...

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AN: Hey, sorry this took a few days but I'm (as usual) writing about a milllion other things, including an English essayso it had to wait… today's a bit short, but the excerpts do get longer as I go on. Please please PLEASE review… if you do I shall be ever in your debt and worship the ground you stand on.

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Day 4: Woods again… I get tired of this, all year round, sleeping under bushes, wearing 15 layers of clothing. Hobbits are good fun, they asked me what was for supper… good joke! One of them is quite strange though, Sam. He worships the ground slapped face hobbit walks on. The other two are arguing about some carrot or other…hobbits are very strange. Nazgúl still abroad… thinking about getting myself a black horse, think it'd look pretty swish!

Aragorn moaned at me about stealing his shampoo and shaving foam but I wouldn't give them back coz he wouldn't apologise. Men can be SO immature!


	5. Day 5 Arwen and athelas

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AN: Hey…here's more from that insane girl who should probably be locked up, not wandering around Middle earth.

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Day 5: At last something interesting happened! The black riders attacked us last night. Fought very bravely, I should get a medal. Slapped face hobbit put ring on again, 1 thing u can say about hobbits… they don't learn from their mistakes. He got stabbed… It seems serious. We're all waiting for Aragorn's verdict. Not that he knows much about healing, he only knows one herb and he uses that to excess. There are other plants in the world apart from _athelas_ y'know. Idiot!

Ah, Arwen's just turned up. Good friend of mine, even though she flirts with Aragorn like crazy. Met her just outside clearing and told her about Morrrrrdorrrrr, she though it was funny, so THERE Aragorn!

I've lost Aragorn's shaving foam and shampoo… black riders must have stolen them… Never knew they were into hair care and stubble! Perhaps it was for Sauron, heard he met someone over the palantir… come to think of it though, he's just an eye… interesting, must put some thought to this theft!


	6. Days 6 & 7 Orange blossom, the council ...

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AN: So I haven't updated in a while… I'm Sorry! I got dragged into many varied other things including exams and other fanfiction… sorry… but, please don't hold it against me and not review… there's one little button at the bottom and all it requires is a little click to send your thoughts to me… even if it is to say that I'm an awful writer and should stop subjecting the world to my horrendous works…

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Day 6: Arrived at Rivendell unscathed. Had big feast and enjoyed self greatly. Met some nice elves, hmmm… Elrond very pleasant but couldn't help noticing he was wearing Arwen's make-up and dress… purple really isn't his colour! And his hair smelled strange…

EUREKA! Arwen stole Aragorn's shampoo and gave it to him! I knew that the black riders wouldn't need it. Not entirely surprised, the only shampoo here smells all girlie, Elrond never liked being too obvious, whereas my brother's was carefully created to give him the smell of sweat and outdoors… far more manly than orange blossom. Which, by the way is what Aragorn had to use today! Hn! Enjoying my revenge greatly!

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Day 7: Held council, sat and got ignored by people, all looking at Aragorn, damn him! Met Boromir, he thinks he's so great just coz he has the horn of Gondor… ha, one up on u mister 'I have a battle horn u don't' we have Narsil, or Andúril as it's now called:

We have the sword that was broken na ne na ne nana!

The hobbits all came of course, dumb hobbits. And then I got roped into going to Morrrrrrdorrrrrrr, why can't I learn to say no? Hobbits coming too, and a dwarf… nasty beard, and a poser of an elf, that seems to be a species trait. Though I must be nice about elves because I just lost 5 gems to Elrohir… Elves are such nice ppl! (d'ya think that'll do?) I haven't got 5 gems!

Aragorn is poncing around doing the 'I am the heir of the Kingdom' bit… lame!

Got to go! Have to pack and yell at Elrond for stealing Aragorn's shampoo, it's okay if I do it, I'm FAMILY! But him, he's nothing more than a cross dressing elf! Hn!

See ya!

REVIEW! NOW! Please?


	7. Day 8 Useless, useless and uselesser

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AN: yet again… I DO NOT OWN THEM! I fully admit this… tho I do own Laralorn… hee hee! Now, you know the drill by now, it's on every piece of fanfiction around here… REVIEW! Please… pretty please?

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Day 8: I SO hate being here… the elves keep on coming up to me and telling me not to walk on the grass… In Lorien you can do whatever u want… Elrond had a word with me today… says I shouldn't go with the fellowship coz I'm female and could get hurt. Sexist elf. Surely HE understands that Aragorn is COMPLETELY useless without me!? 

All he can do on his own is prance about and hold a sword… he'd probably get lost if I'm not there to hold his hand… yeah I can hear u yelling… Gandalf's there… but that pervy Hobbit fancier, he's gonna be too busy stroking Frrroooodooooo's hair to notice ANYTHING! Boromir's an idiot and incompetent, Legolas spends all his time with a mirror in his hand and Gimli… he's too busy trying to look fierce (and failing miserably) the hobbits… Merry and Pippin, comedy value- sure but they think with their stomachs, Sam's way too obsessed with keeping EVRY1 away from Frrrroooodooooo and the ring-bearer all he can do is look shocked or upset…. Fat lot of use that'll be in Morrrrrrdorrrrr. Nope I'm going, or the quest'll never work… I'd like to see them manage without me!


	8. Day 9 Elrond with Stubble interesting

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Disclaimer: OK, from now on I can't be bothered to put this every time so can you all just accept I don't own them… please…

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AN: Sorry about the long delay everybody, but I had exams, then holiday… so I was a wee bit busy. But now I am back… and it's something like 131 days till RotK isn't it… and I dunno how many till TTT on DVD… YIPPEEEEEE ah well here you are:

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Day 9: Whoopee! We're gonna leave tomorrow… orc hunting! Yay, I got my sword out of the big chest, and my Dúnadain cloak and brooch… not allowed to take horse, or Aragorn's Shampoo… Elrond's being mean! Arwen says she'll try and smuggle it to me, she's sick of his either greasy or fragrant… Ewww… hair. I tried to get his shaving foam as well but seems that Elrond's having a bit of trouble with his human half coming through! 

Ha… Elrond with stubble… great picture… really great… I'll be laughing about that all day!

Gandalf warned me that we would be facing great perils and that I was not required to come… but we all know what'll happen if I don't… don't we… It'll fail, miserably… Dumb wizard should try thinking with his head instead of his…ahem!

Elladar and Elrohir took me out hunting this morning… had a good laugh about Morrrrdorrrrr and Their father with stubble….

Should probably go remind Aragorn that fighting is about WINNING, not impressing the Hobbits… see ya!


	9. Day 10 Legolas vs Elrond

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AN: Ok… and another little entry from our favourite complaining relative… but first

Celtic Dawn Star- I did review your fics and they are very good (there, now you even have a plug for them!)

Gablock the hated- thank you very much, for that you get umm… errr… Legolas' mirror. (he was using it too much so I stole it)

Gwanathanhwand- did I spell that right? Yeah… he really should shave more

Rachel- she is a figment of my imagination, nothing more, nothing less, sadly…

Madia- yes I know you've already read and betaed them all over email… but review anyway.

Werecat- uh… thanks! **hands over Legolas' bow that had to be removed so he wouldn't shoot the author after she took his mirror**

I don't think I've done that before, if I have- woohoo, you got praised twice!

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Day 10: Thank GOD on the road again! No more sucking up to his prissiness Elrond, Not that I'd say that to his face of course! The other day he came up to me and asked if I thought he was prettier than Legolas… ELVES! I of course made no comment other than looking at him… prettier than Legolas? Who really cares? Other than Legolas of course! I wish I'd been there when Elrond had told him that he was prettier than he was… There must have been SUCH a catfight!

Legolas INSISTED on bringing his mirror with him, REALLY, who does he think he is? And now he's moaning that the wind is messing up his hair. GOD… I have only ever moaned ONCE about my hair and Aragorn yelled at me and Legolas is constantly on about his complexion his nails, his hair… and what does Aragorn do…nothing… What does Gandalf do… nothing! They ALL fancy him… For Gods sake WHY!!!!!!! He's a pathetic juvenile poser! Very angry… have to go find some orcs to kill…

Now, dear little readers, REVIEW… or I'll set Gimli on you…


	10. Day 11 Caradhras, Moria and MY FACE IS U...

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AN: Oooh dear, I forgot to update… **looks around warily for Merry and Pippin** please don't attack me… pretty please… I'll update quickly now… most of my coursework for school's out of the way. I'm sorry… please continue to review… pretty please… I also apologise for the Boromir bashing, it's not that I don't like the guy… it's just… umm… the character doesn't. Well, she doesn't like anyone really so he's one of the crowd.

Thank yous to: 

Celtic Dawn star, my most devoted reviewer **salaams and hands over a plate of cookies**

Bulegristwen, I'M SORRY! Please don't kill me, I'm updating, I'm updating… 

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Day 11: Tried to go over Caradhras today… stupid plan! Guess whose… _Aragorn's_ that's right.

Boromir's looking embarrassed now, probably because when Legolas asked why I was running around on my knees I told him it was so Boromir would look a my face not my chest… loudly! Hmm… serves him right, ignorant pillock! Tried to have a decent conversation with him, but as usual pretty one sided. Boromir, it turns out, doesn't only fancy hobbits… couldn't stop staring at my breasts. Had to crouch to dwarf height to break his view. Shall avoid conversations with him in future… I do HAVE a head y'know! Very angry! 

At the moment we're sitting around waiting for Gandalf to figure out how to get into Moria… boring! He says he doesn't know how he could forget it… pretty obvious Gandalf, UR ANCIENT!!!!!!

I don't really like Moria, dark, dead mines really AREN'T my thing! Aragorn seems to be worried about it. He never liked Moria either. We always try to avoid it at all costs when rangering… is that a word, ah who cares! I know I don't. 


	11. Days 12 & 13 Cheating and Dying

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AN- Damn I'm bad at the updating thing! I really should do it more often but I get so tied up in stuff and… I'm sorry! Very very very very very sorry?! Ok, don't talk to me then, but I wanna get all this out b4 RotK comes out (ie 17th December) so I'm putting out 2 entries now and probably a whole load more soon… Please please please r&r… I'll love you forever if you do…

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Day 12: Stuck in Moria, dark dank and completely dead… literally, down here… waiting for Gandalf to remember the way out, BORING! Tried to play cards with Legolas but complained the whole way through that it was too dark to see his mirror…then, when I won he yelled at me for cheating. ME, cheat?… hmm maybe a little, but it IS a life skill! All Rangers cheat, it's why Bree-folk don't like us! 

I then tried Boromir, but, true to form he was completely pig-headed and his cheating was SO obvious! I know, I know, I cheated too… but COME ON!!!! You don't need elf sight to tell that when he dropped the pack on the floor he checked out the cards, or that the aces were marked. INCOMPETENT!

Aragorn seems to be enjoying not washing his hair or shaving… plan backfired, DAMMIT!

Gandalf looks thoughtful, he must be in great pain!.. Frodo looks a little shocked, perhaps I should ask him why… Nah, he always looks like that!

WOOHOO! He's remembered… gotta go!

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Day 13: Unlucky for some… unlucky for us and Gandalf certainly… We were attacked in Moria, all Pippin's fault… dumb Hobbit. First we were ambushed by goblins, with their own cave-troll! And then as we were escaping a balrog decided we looked like easy prey. Gandalf though he could take it on on his own… Istari! They NEVER know what's good for them! And stood on the bridge of Khazadúm, shouting 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'… his last words were 'Fly you fools!' fancy calling ME a fool! MOI! I can see the others but ME! How rude! I am insulted… that's it, he's off the list of people we shall invite to Aragorn's coronation… Hn!

I must remember to tell Galadriel that by bird post… she always likes to know things before she should so she looks clever. Which bird is faster… pigeon, eagle… I dunno…. Who really cares.


	12. Day 14 In the woods of Lothlorien

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AN: yup, I toldja I'd update doon and I did… no reviews tho… L that's not good. READ AND REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Now, back to Laralorn…

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Day 14: HALLELUJAH! Back in Lórien again… having fun pulling Haldir's hair… Galadriel did her 'I can read your thoughts and you are all naked before me' thing, quite creepy really! DAMN! That's a Boromir phrase! Aaargh! He's rubbing off on me! That cannot happen… must go wash… purge self of Boromir thoughts… aaaargh! 

Sorry about that, feeling refreshed now, and very much myself! Thank Valar! That was getting icky for a minute back there… I REALLY do not wanna become Boromir! He is fat and lazy and he looks like he's trying to be my brother but can't manage it coz he's TOO DUMB!

Sorry again, I'm ranting now, the elves are all singing about Gandalf. Sad song, think I'll cry, the hobbits already did that but I couldn't coz… y'know, have to keep my mind on the job! 

Galadriel showed Froooodoooo her mirror. He saw stuff. DUH! And it wasn't even himself, I think there's something wrong… seems like he's scared of summat… Ah well… I'm sure I'll find out soon…


	13. Day 15 THE DEAD GUY STOLE MY THUNDER!

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AN And another chapter… entry… whatever… And there are only 23 more days till RotK comes out! YAY! And my friends gone and got the extended TTT DVD and I can't watch it until she's seen it like 50 times… grrr ah well, r&R but, b4 that…

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Thank yous!:

Jess: I think hilarious may be a bit of an over statement of my talent, but THANK YOU! Have a One ring shaped cookie!

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Fhire: Typing typing typing… please don't kill me… pretty please! **Hides behind Aragorn and looks out** meep! Here you can have a Legolas shaped cookie **throws cookie from hiding place**

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Lumien: Updating! As instructed… aren't I a good authoress… here have some hobbit cookies…

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Day 15: WHOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! No more ring and I get to go kick some serious orc butt! PLUS, Boromir can't annoy me any more… OKAY!!!! So I didn't really want him to die and I'm very very sad but but… but… HE'S DEAD!!!! HE STOLE MY THUNDER!!! I go around killing orcs.. 18! 18 orcs! And I get NO recognition but all HE has to do is DIE… how is THAT fair?!

ORCS MUST DIE ORCS MUST DIE ORCS MUST D… you get the idea…hmmm… orc meat, I've never tasted it, wonder… RANCID… I bet! It is ORC flesh anyway! 

Hmm, I still haven't explained about the no more ring bit have I? Well slapped-face hobbit took the ring to Morrrrrrdorrrrrrrr on his own… yeah, so he had Sam with him, like his faithful puppy is actually gonna be able to do anything other than stare lovingly at him anyway!

They don't even know the WAY to Morrrrrrdorrrrrr! STUPID HOBBITS! And STUPID Aragorn for letting them go! He is SO dumb… they cannot win! The quest is doomed and we are all gonna die! Morbid I know but TRUE! Those two hobbits haven't enough brains between them to know which way East is, let alone find their way to The cracks of Doom! 

I wish they weren't called that! It's so melodramatic! You expect to hear thunder rolling and see forks of lightning! Sauron probably thought it sounded stylish, or maybe the Great Enemy named them! Whoever it was is childish and adolescent! NO, I do **_not_** mean it was Gandalf!

Aragorn says we gotta run if we wanna catch up with the orcs, who BTW have kidnapped Merry and Pippin, the only people now with us are Legolas and Gimli… pretty-boy and fuzzz-monster!


	14. Day 16 Let's go hunt some orc easier sa...

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AN: And I'm here, back again, and updating far more often these days… woohoo! And I'd like to thank all my wonderful wonderful reviewers, every single one of them, no matter when they reviewed, but special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter… lumien and jess, again… wow! I have some good reviewers! Now they're had cookies… umm, here an 'I've-been-slapped-in-the-face-and-my-eyes-are-really-big' Frodo plushie.. **hands over plushies** Now review review review!!!

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Day 16: Can't… run… much… longer… Been chasing orcs for AGES!!!! No rest no food… However… I can run faster than Gimli!!!!!! That's always encouraging. Legolas and Aragorn look like idiots running off like that… we're never gonna catch up with the orcs… They don't NEED sleep… it comes from being evil ***s. They'll just keep on going… they've probably already eaten Merry and Pippin. 

Ewwww Hobbit meat… I bet that's tough! 

My legs are aching like crazy and I can hardly breathe. Gimli looks worse though… I think he might dehydrate, coz of the armour he's wearing. He doesn't look too good… keeps on muttering to himself. Think he may be going insane, running too much is obviously bad for the mind. I should warn Legolas, when he's finished prancing about like the poser he is! Maybe not, could be fun to see an insane elf wandering around shooting things. 

Well… probably not if the thing he was shooting at was you… on second thoughts, better just stop running. Be better for EVERY one, my brother can't afford to lose any more brain cells!


	15. Day 17 a visit from an old, dead friend

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AN- 17 more days! 17 MORE DAYS! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! Gotta love RotK, though I cansee myself getting slightly annoyed with it, coz apparently you don't _see_ Saruman, and _Elrond_ seems to give Aragorn Anduril from the looks of the trailer, and no doubt (grrr) Halbarad's part has been cut down so much that he doesn't speak and isn't even named. Plus they've given Aragorn a weird costume. Ah well, my friend and I have decided to create a Halbarad Appreciation Society (HAS), coz he's my favourite character. YAY HALBARAD! 

Please read and review

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Day 17: strange day… I met Gandalf again! It seems he isn't dead but he had a huge battle with a balrog instead… fishy story, if you ask me… which you seem to be doing considering the fact that this is MY diary!!!! We all know about his tempestuous and short affair with a Balrog… I expect it was the same one… Galadriel told me when I was younger to demonstrate how I should be careful in choosing the guys I date! Wouldn't be surprised if his injuries aren't the result of a fight at all, but something far more sinister…and kinky!

We all tried to kill him at first of course… we thought he was Saruman, it was rather depressing how easily he overcame us… hmmm… must work on my sword work… Met some Riders of Rohan… very nice ppl, especially Éomer. Told us they'd killed orcs and prob. Pippin and Merry as well, also told us hope had abandoned Rohan, cheery folks, aren't they… in their favour they had just been banished! I suppose it's difficult to be cheery when you're not allowed into your one true home! Oh yeah! Rangers like me have been exiles since we were born! GET OVER IT!

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	16. Day 18 Blondes and Edoras

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AN: HEY! I'm back, didja miss me? No… hmph, well I'm gonna go again! :P Nah, too fun to stay here. And before I put the entry in, I should warn you - I DON'T LIKE EOWYN- so please don't flame me about that…

First replies to reviews, 

Pandagrrl: Yeah, I know, no remorse about Merry and Pippin, but you have ta remember just how selfish this girl is. The hobbits weren't about to steal her thunder any more than Boromir should have done. Here, to make up for it, you can have Merry and Pippin plushies… **hands over plushies** and cookies? Here have more cookies **hands over plate of Hobbit cookies** and course I don't mind you linking me! Please do!

Celtic Dawn Star- you're back, I thought you'd disappeared WELCOME BACK! ^_^ and here, for beinmg such a nice reviewer, I got Laralorn to nick Anduril here, it's yours **hands over Anduril**

Lumien: glad ya liked it, and I can't leave you out, oh wonderful reviewer- have Legolas bow (but don't tell him I gave it to you) **hands over bow**

Sweetlittlecherry- great to see you got an account, and reviewed. Now you can have… uh, GIMLI'S AXE! **hands over axe**

And now, back to the far more interesting, Laralorn

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Day 18: In Edoras… having to keep my brother's attention away from the blonde… really annoying, she thinks she could kick my ass?… like hell she could! WE had to leave our weapons outside the door so we got to kick ass hand to hand… which was cool… I've never seen an elf or a dwarf do that before!

The King is being a COMPLETE idiot… 'I will not risk open war…' like you have any goddam choice, Rohan is between Mordor and Isengard, the orcs and wild men sent by Saruman are pillaging and destroying his land and people… FIGHT DAMN YOU! He is SUCH a coward! I mean c'mon… he's been possessed by Saruman, you'd think he'd realise that the only way he's gonna get out of this with his country and his life intact is by fighting, and then he has the cheek to say that he's the person incharge here not us? (well Aragorn anyway, but that is NOT the point!) 

The blonde is REALLY getting on my nerves now… she asked me how it was I was accepted as a fighter… I had to tell her the whole story about learning from elves and rangers in Lorien and then sneaking about hunting orcs at night in the wilds until the orc I was following turned out to be my brother… really quite embarrassing! But anyway… found Aragorn some Rohirrim shampoo and shaving foam but it got nicked by Legolas… What does he need shaving foam for anyway… I asked him and he said he was afraid he was gonna get stubble… and the he wouldn't be the prettiest member of the fellowship anymore… Ahem! Gotta go, Blondie's making the moves on my brother!

READ AND REVIEW **runs off being chased by Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn who want their weapons back**


	17. Day 19 Riding to Helms Deep

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AN: 13 days!!!!! **dances round room** 13 days till RotK… Rather a short entry today, I notice… but before that, thank yous:

Lumien- It's ok, he didn't catch me, I was clever enough to go past a mirror, he's now been infront of it all day! O.o;; Thank you for anothre wonerful review! ^_^ and you can have some… muffins today, iced with special LotR quotes… **hands over muffins**

Ocean Rier- Thankee kindly, mate, pirates are actually quite welcome here. Now, have some cookies **hands over more cookies**

Cheesekakke- Thank you, wonderful to know that it woke someone up. Please tell me about the typos you spot, I'll see if I can get around to changing them, this hasn't actually been beta-d so… ah well. And as for the comment about it being movie-verse: I _have_ read the books many times (and I love them dearly). This is however supposed to be a companion to the movies and is based a bit off the v s diaries by Cassandra Claire (if you've ever read them- THEY ROCK!). Plus I know the movies better ^^;; Now, for reviewing you can have… COOKIES! **hands over cookies**

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Day 19: we are riding to Helms Deep… stupid King doesn't know that's exactly what they are gonna expect… I'm watching out for ambushes. Saruman isn't as stupid as everybody round here seems to think! He can tell that we're slowed down by the ill old and young children… I am NOT gonna say women! This is the perfect time to attack… Ah well… I'll just have to be ready when it comes… Helms deep is a good defensive fortress, if any of us manage to get there… 

Eowyn's STILL flirting with Aragorn, even though I had that little 'chat' with her about it yesterday. The good thing is that Gimli's with them, only, I think that he might APPROVE of her and Aragorn getting together, useless dwarf! But it is fun watching him try and ride a horse… Hmmm, Legolas is doing his Running off to the top of a hill and staring off distractedly into the distance bit… wonder what's … HEY! Wargs!!!!!!

Really seriously GOTTA GO!

Read and Review… just press that little button!


	18. Day 20 damn king died

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AN: Hey, 11 days to goooooooooo! **dances round room** 11 days, 11 days… now… thank yous

Cheesekakke- glad to hear I made you smile, and I do _love_ the books, but I also love the films (and for your information- me=NOT an Orli fan…) even if they are going to probably screw up number 3 grrr, they had better have Halbarad in! Now, for being a good little reviewer… **searches through trunk of 'acquired' Middle Earth items…** ah yes, here it is, Galadriels elven ring… **hands over ring**

Celtic Dawn Star- yay! Someone loves my story, now, you get… **fumbles around for a second** Gandalf's elven ring… **tosses ring at CDS**

Lumien- sorry that they aren't longer, it's just, I did actually write these a while ago, just never got round to updating… ^^;; THANKYOU for the evenstar! **hangs it round neck** Yay! I got Arwen's immortality! In return you can have… ELROND'S elven ring **grabs ring from Elrond and gives it to lumien** there you are… 

Please read and review! ^_^

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Day 20: Aragorn's dead… He went and took a running jump off a cliff with a Warg… idiot! Now he'll never get to be King! I'll have to be queen… damn him! He knows I don't wanna be queen, I don't do responsibility! I do the running round killing things bit… y'know! I actually feel quite crappy… my big brother's dead! And he left the Evenstar behind… how could he? Blondie looked upset… like she really cares! Hmph!

We got to Helms deep… but we lost most of our fighting force along with my brother… which means that we have Saruman's Uruk armies after us and only about 150 men… Theoden has told us that if it comes to the pinch then EVERY _man_ who can fight is gonna have to, and me as well of course! They think I'm gonna hide inside a fortress without being able to see what's going on they have another thing coming! I'm gonna be out there kicking some serious orc ass. I have to beat Legolas and Gimli I have to! I'm not being out done by an elvish poser and a fool of a dwarf! They're going down! 

The Uruks can come but us three'll be waiting for them… and I'm So gonna kill more than them… undoubtedly!!

Theoden's just gonna stand there and do nothing, he doesn't like getting his hands dirty! What kind of a king IS he… he's not gonna fight? I just don't get him…

SO, we're all just sitting around doing nothing…


	19. Day 21 Popularity ratings?

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AN: And so here it is… with 9 days left to go… **choruses of angels singing Hallelujah** 

Thankyous go to Celtid Dawn star, who gets a limited edition plushie of the eye of Sauron **hands over plushie** 

Please R&R! thanks…

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Day 21: HEY Aragorn's back! Turns out he wasn't dead after all, he just had a drop I popularity so decided to throw himself off a cliff in order to boost his ratings. Apparently he's been taking polls from a trial group of Rohirrim and he'd just fallen from 90% popularity to 89% popularity and Gimli had gained some! REALLY weird…

Swears that Arwen woke him up, this is partially good coz it means that he's forgetting blondie but also bad coz he's hallucinating! Hmmm… maybe I should have words with him about seeing things that don't really exist! Then he said that he woke up kissing his horse… REALLY freaky! That just isn't right! He also said that he heard Arwen singing… I think the near death experience got the better of him… he's finally cracked!

His entrance was pretty good though… that huge, dramatically pushing open the double doors. Inspired! Legolas told him he looked awful- true. Gimli said he was lucky- true. I told him he was an annoying, suicidal, arrogant b******- perhaps the most true of the lot!

He also told us that there were 10000 Uruk coming- he saw them! Fun, fun fun! Ah well… all the more for me to slaughter! Personally I know what the outcome is gonna be… 300 against 10000…. We are SO gonna win! EVERYBODY's getting ready… from 7 year olds to 90 year olds… most of the equipment and armour is only held together by rust… bad thing! Legolas says we're doomed… always look on the bright side… If we're doomed at least we can take down a few of them while we're at it!


	20. Day 22 Freezing on the walls of Helms De...

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AN: I am _so_ sorry I didn't update this sooner, but I had mountains of work to do, Year 11 is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE YEAR! An I can tell you that I'm going to be revising pretty much _all_ of the Christmas holidays, which, frankly, suck! Damn Mock GCSEs… grrrr but, This is the second to last part of the Two Towers, the next part should be posted tomorrow as, yay, it's the last day of school and we finish early… but this gives me a chance to get Return of the King sorted… YAY! (I SAW IT LAST NIGHT!!! AND IT ROCKS!!!!! ALL WORSHIP ROTK!!!!!) anyone who wants to join the H.A.S. (Halbarad appreciation society) and appreciation society to everyone who was in the books but sadly did not make it to the final cut of the film… please tell me… I _am_ making a yahoo!group for it! (I'm so sad)

Fri- YAY I made another person laugh! This is good… this is very good. I'm funny! MWAHAHAHAHA Bow before my funniness! **hands over doll of Gandalf in a Santa hat** time to get Christmassy!

Celtic Dawn Star- THANK YOU! Here, have this… ^_^ **hands over doll of Aragorn in a reindeer suit** lol!

Lumien- Aragorn, nitwit… hell yeah! Though I really should tell you that on _every_ _single_ test I take I come out as Aragorn, it's freaky! Now, for noticing that little fact…. Have… LEGOLAS AS AN ANGEL!!!! Heh heh! **hands over legolas angel doll** 

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Day 22: HELLO! Freezing my ASS off up here. We're on the walls of Helms deep watching an army of Uruk advance toward us… so nice to know that we're being noticed… Legolas Gimli and Aragorn are up here too, as is Haldir. Had a long conversation about the lack of hygiene among Rohan men with him and how Legoals stole The stuff I gave to Aragorn, and that he'd almost died which is why he smelt when he hugged Haldir… He agrees with me that Legolas is a prancing ninny, as did many of the other elves… but still quite cool. Oh yeah! The reason Haldir's here coz Elrond (my nearly Father) and Galadriel (not my nearly mother, she just taught me a lot) felt sorry for us and realised that even if they ARE going to the havens they still have to face Sauron sometime… So now we have an extra 200 or summat elvish archers backing us up… so nice to know!

It's so FUNNY watching Gimli try to see over the ramparts… he's hopping about like mad. Legolas and I are having trouble keeping straight faces. Aragorn's just come over, warned me not to drop my diary in the fight that's about to start… as if I need to be warned… Good thing I can understand Elvish… comes from growing up in Rivendell and Lothlorien… Aragorn's shouting all the instructions in it. Why couldn't the elves learn the common tongue for heavens sake? Annoying immortal beings! Nice armour though… I prefer leather myself… more manoueverable. 

To all my reviewers to this chapter… the embarrassing photos taken that show what _really_ happened in Rivendell… **evil grin**


	21. Day 23 Charge of the Uruk hai

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AN: and another chapter, not the next ay, sorry… an sorry that my d isn't being very nice toay. But here it is, the en of the Two Towers, I just gotta hope that I can remember RotK now… **sheepish grin**

Thankyous:

Lumien- nah, on't worry, I am a nitwit lol! I'm wasting time taking LotR character quizzes aren't I? And thank you _so_ much for Legolas knives, I think I'll just go try them out… **evil grin** in return have… An OLIPHAUNT PLUSHIE… I'd give you a real one, but I think it might squash you…

Sweetlittlecherry- Thanks for still reaing… I'm very much obliged **bows** now… a gift for a reviewer… have… Ganalf's staff… **hans over staff**

Oh and to everyboy reaing this who oesn't know yrch= orcs in elvish… I just like the wor, sorry!

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Day 23: Phewph! What a day so far and it's only lunchtime! I'd better start with the battle that's where I broke off last time isn't it… well… to put it simply I kicked ass. 53 Uruks died !!!! Well that isn't all, but that's the amount I killed! It was SUCH a great fight! First we shot them with arrows… easy, then the put up the ladders, which we kicked down! And they climbed up so we kicked their asses… then they blew up the wall… hmmm, the only time Legolas misses is when he's firing at the orc with the fire brand running to light the blowy-uppy powder (as Gandalf told me and Aragorn it was called)… Are you sensing that he's in league with the enemy? I would if I hadn't seen the shield sliding stunt he pulled… GREAT. I wanna do it! Basically he jumped on a shield and slid down the stairs shooting yrch then he jumped off sent the shield flying and that killed another orc… it was SO cool! I was sword fighting then on the floor just inside Helms deep. Many yrch died! I was just getting into the swing of things when Theoden ordered us to retreat! RETREAT! How DARE he tell me to retreat?! I am a daughter of Elendil, one of the Dunadain of the North he hasn't got the authority to order ME around! Only Aragorn does… so he did! As we were running back, Haldir got stabbed! And the his head got chopped in two… EVIL YRCH!!!!!! How dare they! Haldir was my FRIEND those ignorant IDIOTS! They will pay for that… and they did! So we retreated, but the orcs were breaking through the door Theoden asked Aragorn and Gimli to go outside and keep em busy… as no one was looking I went to!… there was this door built in a couple of metres from the path in, and it was open… Those yrch areSO dumb… didn't they realise that they could have got in much easier there? Strange people… very strange… only they're not people they're yrch! Difficult to remember who I can classify as people and who I can't in this world… Hmm, I'll have to ask Gandalf. 

Lots of our people died… But then Aragorn decided that… like the heroes we are… we'd do one last final charge and… like the heroes we will be remembered as… die! He is SUCH a fool! So we rode out and pushed the orcs off the path… and as we were riding away from Helms deep we saw Gandalf on the eastern approach and then behind him came Eomer and the rest of the Rohirrim… they kicked orc butt! WE fought with them and together we polished off the rest… Great fight! SO Aragorn wasn't being quite so stupid or maybe it was just luck… he seems to have a lot of it, or maybe it's just that he has a destiny to fulfill! Well… whatever he has, it's annoying! 

I wonder how Frodo and Sam are getting on in Mordor, and Pippin and Merry with the Ents? I bet they're having fun! Apparently, according to Gandalf again, Ents take five hours to say hello! Well I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later!

Well that's that then…the battle of Helms deep is now over… it's just about to get interesting!


End file.
